“Have a crush on Dr. Fauci? Come watch some of his press conferences with us!”
Category Archives: No. 325
Ask Flippy: How do I recover after no one responded to my canvas post with “I totally agree. The truth of that statement is definitely true and not false”?
Then I look over at Chad Chadson’s post and he has response after response. I mean come on! All he said was that women are “cool” and that we just need to “like not be sexist”. Even my TA dropped a response: “So true bestie”. Am I that irrelevant?
Local Woman Who Cried During Asynchronous Journalism Lecture on The West Wing Doing Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?
“When I tried to give her a tissue, she started crying about how Dulé Hill was underutilized. I don’t know where she’s getting all this from. She’s only seen four episodes, and it was during her eighth-grade speech and debate class.”
Ask Flippy: Do You Know A Guy Named “Spam Risk”? He Keeps Calling And I’ve Been Meaning To Ask If He Likes Me But I Don’t Wanna Be Weird
Spam Risk sounds kind of rugged. Smells like pine. Those two-syllable names really get me. Like… James Bond. Or Hugh Grant.
Local Supervillain Decides to Just Put Laser Tripwires in One Big Column in Bout of Anti-Gymnast Hatred
Rather than constructing a long hallway filled with laser tripwires pointed every which way, such that only the most skilled gymnasts can somersault their way through, Dr. Moodering has put all the lasers in one column, all pointing in a single direction. This makes it impossible for even the most limber of heroes to circumvent the lasers and is an offensive jab at the gymnastics community.
Ask Flippy: Can I Blame My Commitment Issues on Sargent Constantly Running Out Of Sweet, Sweet Ozzis?
I’m sick of making excuses like “I have projectile diarrhea”.