New Study Reveals 90% of Men Have Biological Need to “Just Add Onto That Point”

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Tell me something I don’t know! A new study released Monday showed that 90% of men have a biological need to “just add onto that point.” The study, conducted amongst top-ten ranking schools in collaboration with the Collective of United Mansplainers (CUM), revealed interesting neurological and physiological responses stimulated in the male brain.

“When a woman makes an intelligent point in a meeting-like format, the male amygdala lights up,” mansplained Dr. Josh Supercoolguy, a lead researcher at CUM. “That is, of course, the area of the brain that triggers anxiety, also known as fight-or-flight, but in this case, it actually triggers pain.” The physical pain experienced, Supercoolguy continued, can lead to involuntary whining or pouting spasms if the mouth is not opened and the vocal chords are not employed.

“So at that point, it doesn’t really matter what the male says. And we’ve actually found in 69% of cases where this happens, he doesn’t say anything of substance. In fact, he usually repeats exactly what the woman said, just in a different way!” exclaimed Supercoolguy.

While 90% is certainly nothing to sneeze at, the study showed that results for college-age men are even higher, around 98%. “Wow! And you thought we were just being dicks. It’s a physiological need! Take that, femoids!” said Charlie Charleston, a sophomore at Harvard University. 

Though the Flipside reached out to students of all genders, those who were not male did not care to comment.

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