From the Distant Archives: Landmark Moments in Scientific History (Vol. II, Edition 3):can i eat tihs cactis

A cactus

(translated from a little cave drawing of a little guy and such)

YEAR NEGATIVE 10,203. FULL MOON AND A HALF. HOT. VERY HOT.

Grug schol [sic] for Gifted Gruglings’ Elder Sciencer [sic], Borbra Smartbrain, 20, explore new choisce [sic] for hunting gatherning [sic]. Use old, ancient wisdum [sic] of 20 suncycle [sic] on mothr [sic] Urth [sic] and smarts for smart thing, ask queschun [sic]: “can i (Borbra Smartbrain Elder Sciencer) eat tihs cactis?” [sic]

Promises of peast [sic] and prosparity [sic] for all in Townton.

But,.,,,,,, tragody [sic] soon.

Elder Sciencer [sic] Borbra Smartbrain find cactis [sic]: frend [sic] or foh [sic]? For eat? For fyutur [sic]?

Cactis [sic] say: “                              ” for was Plante [sic] (no speach [sic], as discover by Rog Rogson, Elder Elder Sciencer Grug schol [sic] for Gifted Gruglings, -10,389 to -10,379).

So: carful [sic], Borbra take sacred Nife [sic] of Cutting Varius [sic] Thing (sometime Including Bery [sic] of Straw and Heart of Person) and SLICE to cactis [sic].

slice say Nife [sic].

Burble burble gurgle out pore [sic] (from cactis [sic]) Water. A mircle [sic] of mircles [sic]: Townton in desert (big sand, hot) and no Water usuly [sic]. But now !! Water from cactis [sic].

But Borbra not done with sperimint [sic]. She want EAT cactis [sic], not DRINC [sic] (as mirculous [sic] as drinc [sic] was all ready [sic]). She Woman of Scien [sic].

So Borbra take cactis [sic] — “OW !!” It spoints [sic] sharps [sic], but presses on — SLICE in hand.

And 1 2 CHOMB [sic] she BITE and MUNSH [sic] cactis [sic] hard.

…This where tragody [sic].

Cactis [sic]… Borbra mouth… bleedy [sic]. Hurt. Pane [sic].

So… no eat, but drinc [sic].

Borbra save Townton… but Townton not save Borbra.

Mummorial [sic] tommorow [sic].

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