Dear Flippy,

Please, please, help a desperate man! My second cousin, six-times removed, invited me to his wedding, which is in two hours. As it’s been a while since I was last able to “get quirky” on the dance floor (that one night in Prague), I’ve been standing in my room in my tuxedo practicing common wedding dance moves. Cha-Cha Slide went smoothly, Cotton-Eye Joe was flawless. Hell, even my Cupid Shuffle was absolutely delectable! However, when it comes to the Macarena, I just can’t seem to deduce what comes after the hands-on-head portion. Please help me figure out what to do next! I don’t want to look foolish in front of Aunt Myrna.

Signed,
A Dancing Lad

Dear Dancing Lad,

Just follow your heart and do what feels right. Also, throw some ass shaking in there. Never hurts to get jiggy with it.

Love,
Flippy