Everyone keeps saying I need to “take care of myself” and “stay balanced,” but honestly, most days I’m just trying to make it to 3 p.m. without having a menty b. That’s why when my therapist reminded me to take things with a grain of salt, I had a serious
lightbulb moment.

The salt part is easy. When my boss emails “urgent,” or “re: your mediocre performance,” it’s not a personal attack. When that bitch Chelsea from high school posts her third hike of the week, nobody actually cares. Salt is perspective, sure. But sometimes perspective just doesn’t cut it.

That’s where the Coke comes in. Deadlines? Suddenly manageable. Emails? Read, answered, and moderately polite. The pile of dishes in the sink that convinced your roommate to move out last week? Organized by color, size, and condition.

Salt gives perspective. Coke delivers results. Sometimes that’s exactly what wellbeing needs to be: less pretending you’re zen, more pretending you’re Mark Hanna from The Wolf of Wall Street. That guy was seriously loaded. Made it snow and then rain.

So yes. Take life with a grain of salt. Salt is nice, I guess, but sometimes you need a kick in the veins.