In what legal experts are calling an “unlikely but thematically coherent” meeting of disgraced music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs and former Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro were overheard commiserating with over the loss of their respective oil reserves.

According to sources familiar with the matter, the two men—now housed in the same federal detention facility—bonded over what Combs described as “the experience of watching something viscous, valuable, and deeply personal get taken from you by forces you don’t respect.”

“For him, it was crude oil,” Combs allegedly said, gesturing toward Maduro during recreation hour. “For me, it was baby oil. Different shit. Same betrayal.”

Maduro, whose political downfall followed years of international sanctions targeting Venezuela’s state-controlled oil industry, nodded solemnly, replying that Western powers had “weaponized lubrication” against sovereign men everywhere.

While experts stress that Venezuela’s oil once comprised over 95% of its export revenue, compared to Combs’ baby oil holdings, which sources describe as “nonessential but symbolic,” they acknowledge a shared emotional trajectory. The two men have allegedly spent recreation hours debating unjust seizure, with Maduro focusing on imperialism and Combs emphasizing branding. Witnesses claim Maduro attempted to reassure Combs that history would ultimately absolve them.