Membership in NU Pyrotechnics Will Cost You an Arm and a Leg
We Will: The Campaign To Spend $3.75 Billion
The Flipside thinks the money can be better spent on biweekly Dillo Days for the next two decades, or a few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, and maybe another fan or two.
Youngest Mother in UK to Give Birth to Future Youngest Mother in UK
Students Waste All of Reading Week Studying
“I kept telling myself this quarter would be different,” said Dover. “I was going to catch up on the entire third season of Homeland and re-watch Mean Girls twice before finals. But I spent the entire week doing chemistry practice problems.”
Climate Change Could Lead to Chipotle Guac Shortage; Al Gore Wishes He Had Thought of That
The Flipside’s Guide to Finance
These lucrative tips have made our illustrious paper the 10th wealthiest bi-weekly satirical publication on campus, and once you’ve read this article, you’ll have no excuse not to be rich.
WHO Says Sugar Intake Must Be Halved; Pixy Stix Now Cut with Flour
John Travolta Leads Northwestern Campus Tour
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
Facebook to Regulate Posts Selling Guns; Escort Services and Pyramid Schemes Still OK
PA Group Reunion Dinner About as Awkward as You Would Expect
“I thought this would be a fun way for us to reconnect and catch up!” said Peer Advisor Jeanine Houston, whose outward enthusiasm in no way reflects the horrible sense of clinging despair she feels at the prospect of this idea being an absolute piece of shit.