Author Archives: Ben Castleman

Pledge Mom Tells Her Pledge Daughter She Was Pledge Adopted

EVANSTON — Delta Delta Delta Delta Sophomore Allison Gordon did not have a Pledge Reveal night as joyous as the rest of her sorority sisters. In fact, she had been dreading the evening all week. She decided, out of respect and love, that her Pledge Daughter, freshman Rachel Solomon, was finally ready to learn that she was Pledge Adopted. “I never thought I was going to Pledge Adopt a baby, but the circumstances called for it. Her real Pledge Mother

Cop Gets Denied at the Door of Tappa Tappa Keg

EVANSTON — Police officer Bob Hankervich went to the frat quad this previous Saturday night to investigate reports of underage drinking. As he walked up the stairs to the frat in question, Tappa Tappa Keg junior George Kerry got ready to deny another dweeb. The cop approached Kerry assuming he would step aside, but instead he stood firmly in front of the door and offered a “what’s up bro?” with an introductory head nod. According to Northwestern Police records, Hankervich

“Homeless Joe” Definitely Going To Rush

EVANSTON — Northwestern fraternities have recently begun their weekly tradition of Sunday night dinners, and hundreds of freshman have attended to get free food and flirt with frat brothers. The race for bids has begun, and one freshman has emerged as the top recruit. Nicknamed “Homeless Joe,” this enterprising, genial, and most of all hungry freshman has been sighted at nearly every single frat and dinner. Reports say Joe usually arrives at the frats alone, but he does bring his