Author Archives: Brian Earl
Despite Record Yardage, Northwestern Almost Doesn’t Not Blow 27-Point Lead
Northwestern Motto Gravely Puzzles Incoming Classics Major
ROCKFORD, IL – Julius Marder was deeply troubled Monday morning when he realized he didn’t know how to translate Northwestern’s motto, Quaecumque sunt vera. “I’ve taken AP Latin and placed into Latin 201-3 here,” said Marder, who will be moving onto campus Thursday with the rest of the Class of 2016. “But I don’t know what my new school’s motto means! It gave me a headache.” Marder first encountered Northwestern’s motto on a piece of promotional material mailed to him,
[His Campus] Dear McCormick…
This week, His Campus’s weekly advice column tackles three thorny issues: how to deal with parents, methods to become “better-endowed,” and what to do if you like a girl.
Cold War Kids Skip Dillo Day in Order to Play at NATO Summit
Reel Big Fish to Return to Lake Michigan
Big Boi Fails to Show on Dillo Day, Inebriated NU Students Fail to Care
Laundry Pregamed
CRU Confuses Steve Aoki for Jesus, Holds Vigil at Mayfest Chalking
Students Shocked to Learn White Rapper is Complete Asshole

