Design Students Pitch Ideas to Add Huge Bong to Elder Patio
“It should be artsy, yet functional. I’m thinking it should also be as big as four people.”
Author Archives: Oliver Meeks
NU Landscaping Innovates New Way To Install Trees
“Only cost 3.4 billion and four separate construction crews…”
NUmacroagressions Campaign Begins In Defense of Rich White Guys
“It’s not our fault we only have six private jets – blame the manufacturer.”
Disturbing News out of Oregon: Northwestern Could Be More Northwestern
Learned something in Geography class.
CS Major Develops App to Better Stalk the Only Two Girls in Class
There’s an app for that. Also, a restraining order.
Climatologists Give Up; Move to Brazil
“Global Warming wins,” announces scientist in swim suit.
OPINION: Penis Game Could Be More Mature
Instead of yelling penis, yell “PHALLUS”. Ten extra points if anyone gives a shit.
Rushing Freshman Judged For Eating Carrot Stick During 7 Hour Sorority Interview
If she had eaten one more, she would have been thrown out in her underwear.
BREAKING: Students Staying for Thanksgiving Are Totally Okay with It
“Yeah man, I don’t miss my family at all. Bunch of… people… I don’t like…”
Alaskan Student Finally Decides to Shut Dorm Room Window
On a side note, a new campus policy has been implemented banning polar bears as pets.