Students Watch Anxiously as Squirrel Attempts to Cross Sheridan on a Busy Day
“I was jumping up and down, screaming for him to go back to his burrow.”
Author Archives: Peach Sahasakul
Only Girl in Your Compsci Class is Totally Into You
“She looks almost directly at me exactly once a class! It’s so hot, she’s totally hitting on me,” said clueless McCormick freshman, Alec Thatcher.
Haunted Lakefill Hammock Swallows Another Victim
McCormick sophomore Laura Russo has been reported missing since last Thursday. She was last seen at 5:30 PM on the lakefill, napping peacefully in a perfectly innocuous woven hammock.
CAPS Hands Out ‘A+’ Stickers to Dejected High School Valedictorians
“We at CAPS strive to affirm the appallingly fragile, extrinsically-fixed self-worth of our former best and brightest.”