Northwestern Flipside

“Right about then you would look for a YouTube tutorial, but then we remembered that YouTube wasn’t working, and also that we work for YouTube.”

At press time, the 40-year old man operating @myqueentorivega69 briefly considered getting a job before converting his fanpage to an iCarly account in hopes of regaining Davidson’s approval.

“It’ll fit perfectly in between these two weeks of straight midterms and the next Friday, when I have 6 papers due.”

“Young people must take time to research candidates in order to make informed decisions at the polls. But I also have a chem midterm on Wednesday and know nothing.”

Willie the Wildcat announced on his finsta that he has found a freshman to accompany him to his annual Furry Rave.

Freshmen were shocked to find out these conveniently located containers weren’t designed for their puking needs.

“If she’ll stick around for Frozen, she’ll stick around for anything. She’s a keeper.”

“We at CAPS strive to affirm the appallingly fragile, extrinsically-fixed self-worth of our former best and brightest.”

“Sometimes, it’s important for philanthropists that people keep quiet about their good deeds,” Neill told reporters after completing a keg stand.

“I guess it’s early and I’m still finding my way around,” White said, as if that were actually a thing.