Stray Animals Attracted to Yowling at WNUR Stage
“We are currently investigating the implications of this incident on the habitats of western Evanston.”
Category Archives: Year 8
Area Skin Burnt
Mayfest is currently drafting plan on how to best avoid such a catastrophe in the future, such as potentially moving the concert even earlier in the quarter for cooler weather.
College Republicans Change Affiliation to College Independents
“We feel that being the College Republicans only worked to exclude other groups who hated Trump as much as we did,” said exec member and leading advocate for the name change Joe Przybyszewski (WCAS ’17).
Civil War Textbook Does Not Mention Captain America
The NU Historical Society is protesting over the fact that those who watch the new movie are instead watching “gross historical inaccuracies.”
Mayfest Exec Prays to Audros, Lithuanian God of Storms
Many executive board members agree that praying to the Ancient Baltic deity would be an effective way to mitigate the effects of bad weather.
Dillo Announcement Helps Students Forget about Campus Rape
This release granted students a temporary distraction from the growing awareness of campus sexual assault.
NUPD to Upgrade Ninja Monkey Outside Allison
Sources indicated that NUPD has enough money saved up from multiple years of not upgrading their monkeys.
Dozens Dead as Doors Open On the Right at Foster
Multiple eyewitness accounts described the incident as “horrifying” and “inconvenient.”
Graduating Senior Doesn’t Have Plans for Summer, Life
“I might end up spending summer bumming around, or working that godforsaken Auntie Anne kiosk again, and maybe I’ll keep doing that forever.”
SOFO Training Expanded to Quarter-Long .34 Credit Class
This class, listed as SOFO_391, will be available starting Fall 2016 and will be worth .34 credits.