“When Stephen Colbert walks into one of our dining halls, he needs the assurance that every single one of the $66,000 he pays to his son’s tuition is put to good use.”
Author Archives: Louis Danowsky
Jozek attributed the outburst to two weeks of being asked by other Bienen students what instrument he played.
Austern notes that Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling” is especially good for older adults, writing, “the kids’ voices get so high and shrill, it’ll make it feel like your own kids are in the room with you!”
According to SOFO, the goal was to find a location inaccessible by road or other conventional forms of transportation.
The other major reform I would suggest is that McCormick split its “Whole Brain Engineering” program into academic courses of study into Right Brain and Left Brain Engineering…Right Brain engineers wouldn’t need to learn any of that math shit, while Left Brain engineers would be exempt from DTC or any other course that involves communication with another human being.
[Butz] proceeded to play a game of Two Truths, One Lie that turned into a dogmatic rebuttal to all common knowledge about the Holocaust, to the increasing discomfort of the Fraternity members.
The truly unpresidented move comes as a surprise for the country, though it is not unusual considering his string of cabinet nominations that seem to involve people whose beliefs represent the opposite of the jobs to which they were appointed.
“I get a lot more of my news from uncomfortable urinal conversations when I decide to pee adjacent to another dude in an empty restroom than I do from the Daily.”
“I think I saw the mad glint of their god’s eye today. His shriveled white prophet made it explicit when he condemned me to hellfire lest I repent. Those are damn convincing words.”
“This could definitely do me some good. My jaw gets very sore from handling meat so often.”