A Preview of Preview
It’s that time of year once again. Hundreds of t-shirts exhibiting zero graphic design skill will descend on the quad like a swarm of, well, sorority girls, or at least future ones anyway.
Category Archives: Articles
Prospie Wears UChicago Sweatshirt on Tour, Chaos Ensues
Weinberg senior Julia Zorn, Huffâs tour guide, was so distracted she only reminded her group that Northwestern is a âworld-class institutionâ eight times instead of the required nine.
âThatâ Student Causes TA to Have Mental Breakdown
By week four, Justin was beginning to point out flaws in the grad studentâs handwriting.
Last Healthy Student on Campus Adopts SARS Mask to Avoid Sickness
âI didnât think the disease would ever reach this area, but I guess this goes to show that all it takes is one carrier,â bemoaned Kondriak.
Gallup Poll Shows Vicious Divide on the Definition of âHooking Upâ
âI donât think sex is necessary for a hookup,â argued Gender and Sexuality professor Jezebel Ross. âItâs got to get to third base though.â
Columbus, Ohio changes name to Indigenous People, OH
Inhabitants of the city, now known as Indigenous Persons, are overwhelmingly in favor of the change as well.
ASG President Julia Zorn Plans World Domination
While campaigning for ASG President last year, Zorn listed her political inspirations as Kim-Jong Un, Joseph Kony, and âthat evil woman in Ghostbusters.â
Football Team Inspires Spontaneous Wave of Nihilism
âOur team was literally supposed to be amazing now that we beat Wisconsin. I donât think I can handle all this disappointment.â
Area Man Eating in Front Window of Taco Bell Really Hates Himself
The quesarito is his only source of joy left in the world.
The Five Stages of the Freshman Fifteen
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesnât matter.