Op-Ed: There Are So Many Numbers Out There… Letters, Not So Much
We can mash numbers together to make even bigger numbers… but we can’t make “more letters.” Those are just words.
Category Archives: No. 422
US Agrees to Sell Saudi Arabia Advanced Cruise Missiles with Warheads Small Enough That They Only Kill Specific Yemeni Children Rather Than the Entire School Bus
The missile allows for extremely precise targeting, which is crucial where the mission calls only for one or two children on board a school bus to be killed.
BREAKING: Officially Open For Debate On Next Issue to Shut Down Over, Experts Claim Congress has Reached its “Flow State”
Typically achieved only by the pinnacle of elegant fluidity, such as an undried up waterfall or a Gen Z content creator navigating a McDonald’s kiosk, the “flow state” has been dubbed by Congressional leaders as the “most sought-after” state to be in.
From the Near Future: Ambassador to the UN Nicki Minaj Performs “Anaconda” in Front of the General Assembly to Raise Awareness of Falling Birth Rates in Developed Countries
Although less catchy than the original, the new lyrics “My demographics down, they ain’t rebouncin’ now, lawmakers frown, askin’, ‘Where’s each newborn from?’” seemed to instantly capture the attention of the assembly members.