EVANSTON — Last Friday, President Morton Schapiro and Provost Daniel Linzer announced the university’s newest fundraising initiative, “We Will: The Campaign for Northwestern.”

The plan will finance a number of projects on the Evanston and Chicago campuses, including new buildings and increased financial aid. The university expects the campaign to last five years, raising an average of $9 million each week.

Although the plan’s goals of “Discovery and Creativity” are important, The Flipside brainstormed some alternative ideas for the $3.75 billion initiative.

• Biweekly Dillo for the next two decades
• A few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, maybe another fan or two
• Pack of therapy dogs roaming around campus
• Ticket to the dance?
• Free hungover brunches in Plex for the rest of eternity
• 2,707 Dance Marathons
• Heated walkway on Sheridan
• Permanently dying the Chicago River purple #ChicagosBigTenTeam
• Several hundred million orders of Frontera chips and guac
• Clone of Jeff Budzien
• All of the black jackets ever left at the Deuce
• Shark tank in Norris
• PR campaigns addressing the next 5-6 racial controversies
• Approximately a hundred million times the funding The Flipside received from ASG
• An ASG power trip
• Beyoncé hologram

What would you buy with $3.75 billion? Submit your ideas to the 10K Initiative and then watch a Willie the Wildcat statue get picked instead. #gocats