EVANSTON — Last Friday, President Morton Schapiro and Provost Daniel Linzer announced the university’s newest fundraising initiative, “We Will: The Campaign for Northwestern.”
The plan will finance a number of projects on the Evanston and Chicago campuses, including new buildings and increased financial aid. The university expects the campaign to last five years, raising an average of $9 million each week.
Although the plan’s goals of “Discovery and Creativity” are important, The Flipside brainstormed some alternative ideas for the $3.75 billion initiative.
- Biweekly Dillo for the next two decades
- A few windows in Blomquist Gymnasium, maybe another fan or two
- Pack of therapy dogs roaming around campus
- Ticket to the dance?
- Free hungover brunches in Plex for the rest of eternity
- 2,707 Dance Marathons
- Heated walkway on Sheridan
- Permanently dying the Chicago River purple #ChicagosBigTenTeam
- Several hundred million orders of Frontera chips and guac
- Clone of Jeff Budzien
- All of the black jackets ever left at the Deuce
- Shark tank in Norris
- PR campaigns addressing the next 5-6 racial controversies
- Approximately a hundred million times the funding The Flipside received from ASG
- An ASG power trip
- Beyoncé hologram
What would you buy with $3.75 billion? Submit your ideas to the 10K Initiative and then watch a Willie the Wildcat statue get picked instead. #gocats