Future Frat Star To Host “Rock the Beach” Pregame

EVANSTON – The future Rush Chair of Tappa Tappa Keg moved into Bobb this week and announced to his floor that he will be hosting the official “Rock the Beach” pregame of the dorm.

Rock the Beach is a Wildcat Welcome Week event where new students get to hang out on Northwestern’s sandy shore and dance with people they barely know. They typically take many pictures to prove to their friends who have been in college for three weeks already that they actually have “friends” at school too.

“I needed to make it known that I’m the guy you can come to for all your party needs,” Chad Smithly said. “My mom got me a handle of smirnoff before leaving and told me to use it to make new friends.”

The party will be held in room 420, which Chad specifically requested for its (obstructed) lakeshore view.

His roommate, Dexter Bing, said he is excited for the pregame because it will be his first interaction with girls outside a classroom setting.

When asking Chad’s CA – who refused to give her name – for comment on this upcoming pregame, she simply sighed, “freshmen boys will be freshmen boys. I can’t stop that.”

“Rock the beach is the going to be the sickest party of the whole year, thanks to my pregame,” Chad said. “It’s going to be like prom after-party, mixed with Virginia beach week, mixed with spring break in Telluride. I hope everyone is ready to go HAM.”

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