College Republicans Change Affiliation to College Independents

EVANSTON ā€“ Following recent reports that Donald Trump is likely to be the Republican nominee, the Northwestern College Republicans have changed their organizationā€™s party affiliation to the Northwestern College Independents. ā€œWe feel that being the College Republicans only worked to exclude other groups who hated Trump as much as we did,ā€ said exec member and leading advocate for the name change Joe Przybyszewski (WCAS ā€™17), ā€œtherefore, our switch to being the College Independents will not only boost membership, but will allow us to be more tolerated on campus as well.ā€

Some, however, were not pleased by the recent change. Gene Markakis, MEASĀ ’16, President of Wildcats for Trump, was furious about the recent shift: ā€œJust when America is about to be made great again, those assholes decided that they wanted to be more ā€˜inclusive;ā€™ well inclusive my ass. I believe in capitalism and freedom and apple pie and the smiles on babies that will grow up to have incredible knockersā€”sorry I lost my train of thought. Well I guess weā€™ll have to show them how wrong they are, and do it in a way that would make Mr. Trump proud.ā€

Recently, protests and fights have broken out outside of the College Independentsā€™ meeting place by members of Wildcats for Trump. Also, members of the College Democrats were seen standing by the protest as well, eating popcorn they all had to share.

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