With the NHL playoffs in full swing, it’s time to justify the existence of teams such as the Vancouver Canucks, Toronto Maple Leafs, and, regrettably, the Chicago Blackhawks. Yes, it’s draft season. Technically, it’s just the draft lottery, but this drawing is what determines the destinations of junior hockey’s biggest talents. Needless to say, it’s quite important. So important in fact, that one local wildcat’s father couldn’t have been bothered to take his son’s first call home in a month when it happened to conflict with the lottery.

The Blackhawks had a good season this year, except of course for how they ended up in nearly last place in a league with 32 teams while having names such as Bedard, Nazar, and Knight on the roster. But, that meant that they hypothetically had a good chance at getting the future generational talent Gavin McKenna to complete the rebuild. Enter Toronto, rising from 5^th to dash any hopes of justifying this horrendous season.

Now enter the local Wildcat’s dad. Who has the goddamn nerve to call the house on a Tuesday night? His son! With the typical Northwestern courseload, any student, even if they’re just studying something fake like political science or global health, hardly ever has the time to call home. So, one might think that the first call home in a month would rise pretty high to the top of their parents’ priorities. Wrong!

Of course there’s only one person really to blame for this: NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. How the hell did San Jose get the 2^nd pick??? It had to have been rigged! They’ve already got Celebrini and Smith, the last thing they need is Stenberg, or god forbid McKenna if Toronto doesn’t pick him.

Either way, at least one local student now knows where he stands with his parents.