Bill Nye Fails Orgo Midterm
Upon arrival in Evanston, Nye was notified of the organic chemistry midterm he would be required to take to remain on Northwestern’s campus.
Substitute Teacher Opens for Bill Nye
At this point, the teacher exited stage left and reemerged to cheers as he pulled onstage a TV cart and played a Bill Nye show for the duration of her allotted time.
Game of Thrones Season 5 Conclusion Revealed
SPOILER ALERT: This article will contain spoilers for both book readers and television-series-watchers alike.
Apple Introduces POC (Poops of Color)
Apple took a proactive approach to solve this problem. The iOS 8.3 software update now includes purple, aqua, neon, amber, and grey dung for the enjoyment of the entire human race.
Porky Pig, Scooby-Doo Enroll in Speech Therapy
Although it is increasingly common for celebrities to undergo therapy or rehab, some bloggers have begun to speculate that it’s part of a Warner Bros. company policy to be more politically correct with its franchises.
Charli XXX confirmed for Dildo Day
We were so inspired by the perennial success of Dillo Day that we have decided to put on our own festival to be called Dildo Day.
“Walk of Shame” to be featured in Campus Tours
In anticipation for the prospective student-centered Wildcat Days, Director of Undergraduate Admission Marsha Thornton announced last week the office’s decision to include a walk of shame on each campus tour.
NU Heats Up for Sex Week
This year’s edition of Sex Week is SHAPEing up to be the hottest yet with tons of cool events and activities smattered throughout the week.
Beyonce to Headline Dillo Day
Queen B tweeted a picture of her magnificent thighs emblazoned with a large purple ‘N’ and the caption “Coming for you xo.”
Fraternity Inspires PED Testing for Dance Marathon
DM officials are investigating the serious possibility that last year’s complete absence of fainting frat bros was due to blood doping and other performance enhancing drugs.