Ezra Pound: “I Really Admire Your Wildcat Spirit”
A sea of purple shirts, without interruption or impurity, all rallying around the leadership of the great Pat Fitzgerald – what could be more beautiful? Nothing, I feel.
Where Are You Hiding Your Alcohol During Family Weekend?
STUDY: Under 10% of High School Graduates Prepared to Draw Bell Curves
The report demonstrates that “Bell Curve Degeneracy,” a metric developed exclusively for the report, increased from 0 to 307 between 2008 and 2012.
School of Comm Résumé Building: “Retweeted Over 300 Times”
Additional skills: Instagram, Starbucks Gold Card
ASG Elections Kidnapping Plot Foiled
“The race for padding resumés with bullshit positions has never been more intense,” said Neil Mantle, Allison’s Area Coordinator. “We were afraid something like this might happen eventually.”
House GOP Concerned Female Fed Reserve Chair Might Waste Dollars on Shoes, Birth Control
Members of the House Tea Party Caucus, who frequently represents the period-costume-wearing wing of the Republican Party, began circulating a memo urging Republican senators to reject the nomination.
Forrest Gump Has Had Too Many Boxes of Chocolates
Scientists Found Key to Treating Alzheimer’s, Forgot Where They Put It
Republicans Privately Advocating for Return to Articles of Confederation
The Articles do not contain a president, a Supreme Court, congressional power of taxation, or congressional power to regulate trade. Such a proposal thus represents a minor increase in Republican demands during negotiations.
The Government is Back, Unfortunately It’s the Same One We Had Before