Ted Cruz Reads to Congress Favorite and Only Book He’s Ever Read
All Packages Now Get Delivered to Plex for Completely Rational Reasons
“We saw this as a no-brainer,” said Goldenberg. “There’s a big divide between North and South campus, and we thought that having everyone… get their packages at the same place would create some good old-fashioned campus unity.”
Northwestern University in Qatar to Close Evanston, Chicago Campuses
“We’re going to have to build a good team if we want to stand a chance against our rival, Texas A&M University at Qatar,” said Football Coach Pat Fitzgerald.
University Plans to Renovate Long Field, Make It Longer
Congress Gridlock Actually Due To Groundhog Day Time Loop
“I feel like we’re always talking about the debt ceiling and budget,” said Rep. Larry Bucshon (R-Indiana). “Is anyone else getting major déjà vu here?”
Man Copes with Breaking Bad’s Ending by Constructing Meth Lab in Basement
The lab will be opened to the public every Sunday night to other fans unwilling to accept that their favorite show ended on its own terms without inevitably becoming awful.
Remembering a Legend
NCAA to Compensate Student Athletes with Free Copies of NCAA Football 15
First Day of Classes Results in Dearth of Flipside Content
“It’s sad we don’t have anything to put on our website today,” agreed President Andrew Schneider. “Our Facebook page is going to have embarrassingly little content on it this week.”
Chicago Manual of Style Updates Guidelines to Include “No Ketchup”