Romney, Stuck in 1970s, Stunned to Discover iPads Full of Women
Author Archives: Flippy
Study: SCAPE Reduced Poverty in Greater Chicago Area by 70%
1 Dead, 4 Seriously Injured in Explosion; Blocked Lint Screen To Blame
Freshman Girl Forgets to Upload Pictures From Last Night’s Party, Spontaneously Combusts
NU Stores Platinum Gargoyles to Keep Parents Thinking They Pay Just Enough
Nobel Season Leaves Thousands of Bell-Ringers without Jobs
With Family Weekend Looming, Students Clean Room for First Time
EVANSTON – Approximately one month after leaving home for the first time, dozens of underclassmen have been frantically cleaning their dorm rooms for the first time ever. During their first month of college, these students have been continuously lying to their parents about their cleanliness and organizational habits, saying that college forces them to be much more on top of things than they were back home. In an attempt to sell the lie to their parents when they come to
Bitter Freshman Loses Dorm Election; Questions Authenticity of Opponent’s NU Acceptance Letter
Lisa’s Café Falls to Savagery Minutes Before Equivalency Points Renew
EVANSTON – On Saturday evening, excitement turned to panic as students realized that their unused equivalency points for the week simply would disappear at midnight. Fueled by the promise of “free” food, the “Weekly 14” students quickly began to funnel into Lisa’s CafĂ©. “I was in a state of shock more than anything. Seeing that wall of items ranging from chocolate Teddy Grahams to diet lemonade powder felt like seeing 40 of your children drowning, and only being able to
Freshman Girl Questions Gender Due to Women’s Room’s Urinals