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Author Archives: Katie Prentiss
[SEVENTH GRADE ISSUE] Gabby and Arielâs Social Calendar is, like, totally filled with Bat Mitzvahs
Gabby and Ariel are, like, totally the hottest JAPs at school. They only wear Marc Jacobs, and they get invited to EVERY Bat Mitzvah. G + A (as they call themselves) spend the Saturday morning services taking trips to the bathroom to gossip and flirting with the boys from different schools across the room. Between the service and the party, G + A are very busy making a âkissing webâ that shows who everyone in the school has kissed. They
Flipside Report: Ice
Bad Bear Day
October Update
FL Pastor Plans to Burn âAudacity of Hopeâ
âWe here at Unity and Peace (For All White, Straight, Christians [excluding Catholics]) Church believe that it is just unconstitutional to have a Muslim president,â Jones said. âNot to mention heâs not even an American Citizen!â
Morty Mash-Up
Flipside Receives Medill F
EVANSTONâAfter thorough fact-checking, Medill professors and administrators unanimously awarded The Flipside an âFâ for its inordinate amount of factual errors. âThe content was exceptional, but there is no such person at Northwestern as âWeinberg freshman Joe Krawson,ââ said a concerned Medill professor, after reading an article which he thought would profile a very successful student. In a further, shocking investigation, it was uncovered that The Flipside has never quoted a real person. Every single quote is false. The publicationâs president
NU Students React to Tough University Sexile Policy
EVANSTONâSeveral Northwestern University students said Thursday that they hold relaxed views about âsexiling,â a slang word used to describe the act of barring a roommate from entry into living quarters to ensure privacy for intimate relations. âI think people have common sense,â said Joana Smith, Medill freshman. âText if youâre going to bring someone home.â In college campuses across the country, âsexilingâ has become an issue. Tufts University recently created a policy outlawing students from having sex while roommates are
Earthquake Hits Chile, U.S. out of Fundraising Ideas
SANTIAGO, CHILEâThe earthquake that ravaged Chile this week has left millions of philanthropists confused. After contributing all their efforts to Haiti, people seem to have no charitable spunk left. After countless bakesales, Hulu ads, piggy-bank smashings, and illegal bootleggings for Haiti, people just donât have any money left to give to Chile – or, for that matter, the desire to do so. CNN, in a desperate effort to stay hip, tried to rally their followers with tweets like âsux 4