Local Man Sporting Shorts All Winter Disappointed No One Asked Him Why He Was Wearing Shorts
“I’m clearly peacocking but not one person has had the courtesy to point it out.”
Author Archives: Michael Campbell
Zootopia Oscar Nomination Gives Hope to Disenfranchised Furries
“We look at Judy Hopps as a role model for a new generation of furries” said a long-practicing furry who only referred to himself as his fursona “PrideBunny.”
Screeching Harpies Drag Sorority Rushees Back to Lair
“THE UNANOINTED SHALL BE BROUGHT FORTH UNTO US FOR JUDGEMENT. THEIR TORMENT IN LIMBO WILL SEE THEM REWARDED SO SAYETH ASMODEUS, RUSH CHAIR.”
All-Male PA Group Awkwardly Says “No Homo” After Every Sentence
“We can get brunch as a PA group and try each other’s food without having to ask for a sterilized fork now; it’s very liberating no homo.”
Doñald Trump Adds ñ to Name in Appeal to Latinos
His campaign almost immediately began running attack ads showing Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton coughing onto children with somber mariachi music playing in the background.
Flipside to Stop Printing Nude Centerfolds
In a recent press release, Flipside President Jordan Villanueva announced the surprising decision, citing the recent trend of most major news outlets deciding to remove all pornography from their publications.
Waa-Mu Cast Dies of Dysentery
“If it’s not dysentery, it’s cholera. Or exhaustion. We even had four different potential cast members break all of their legs in separate, unrelated incidents.”
Morty Drops Mixtape at 3 a.m.
Tuition Hike has already been met with intense scrutiny by some of the most renowned critics in the music industry.
Elder Freshman Doesn’t Rush, Faces Isolation
“I’ve never really been into the whole Greek Life scene,” says Horowitz, wincing slightly at hearing his own voice for the first time in days, “so yeah. I didn’t rush. Everyone else did. I enjoy the silence.”
Speaker to Speak at NU
This is the Yamaha STAGEPAS 600i’s final stop on its college campus tour that has been widely publicized ever since it gained consciousness earlier this year.