āThatā Student Causes TA to Have Mental Breakdown
By week four, Justin was beginning to point out flaws in the grad studentās handwriting.
Category Archives: Local
Last Healthy Student on Campus Adopts SARS Mask to Avoid Sickness
āI didnāt think the disease would ever reach this area, but I guess this goes to show that all it takes is one carrier,ā bemoaned Kondriak.
ASG President Julia Zorn Plans World Domination
While campaigning for ASG President last year, Zorn listed her political inspirations as Kim-Jong Un, Joseph Kony, and āthat evil woman in Ghostbusters.ā
Football Team Inspires Spontaneous Wave of Nihilism
āOur team was literally supposed to be amazing now that we beat Wisconsin. I donāt think I can handle all this disappointment.ā
Area Man Eating in Front Window of Taco Bell Really Hates Himself
The quesarito is his only source of joy left in the world.
The Five Stages of the Freshman Fifteen
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesnāt matter.
Homecoming Grand Marshal Kathryn Hahn Looks Nothing Like Ana Gasteyer
“Just not looking at their pictures you canāt tell that they arenāt completely different, with almost no recognizable similarities.”
Siege of West Fairchild Enters Second Day
“Communications and International Studies were born to be together. I vow to take charge and create a singular, united Fairchild to rule Northwestern!”
The Flipside Nominates the 2014 Homecoming Court
This unparalleled honor bestowed by the only satirical publication on campus is unique in its appreciation of the undervalued.
Lost Freshman Found, Shown Where Einsteinās Actually Is
ā[Tech] is a maze, man. I didnāt think Iād ever get out,ā he said, still squinting from daylight. āI canāt believe more people havenāt gotten lost trying to find the Einsteinās in here.ā