CIA World Factbook: Fitzerland
Official Languages: Bromanian, Keg-tapanese, Coorsican
Category Archives: Articles
My Angry Feminist Roommate Thinks Homecoming is Unfeministic
Homecoming is NOT an appropriate manifestation of sex-positive feminism, and I cannot continue to just stand by while the Gender Studies department completely ignores the issue.
The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court
As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community.
Weinberg Freshman Drops Out of NU, Hired at Strip Club
“At first I was, like, really excited about college and all,” DeLuca told her advisor. “But then, like, I was in Intro to International Relations and it seemed like I was like, going to have to read a lot. That’s, like, bullshit.”
President Schapiro Makes First Visit to Entirely-Empty Garret-Evangelical Theological Seminary
“I felt as if the longer I stood within this lonely and hollow place, the more lonely and hollow I myself would become,” sobbed President Schapiro.
The Flipside Investigates: Norris Bookstore Has Books
Norris Bookstore promised that it has, and always has had, more than enough textbooks, access codes, and student manuals, for all students in every single class at Northwestern, ever.
Prominent Jewish Studies Professor Denies Existence of Arthur Butz
“Why would a prestigious university in a heavily Jewish area ever have a professor who openly denies the Holocaust? Open your eyes and question the narratives set before you, people,” Silverman posted on his Facebook page.
Government Shuts Down, Requires Human Sacrifice
“At… At first I thought that we could just throw some illegals its way and everything would be fine, but then I realized that it only wanted Americans,” stammered House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA).
Houston Astros Clinch Impressively Mediocre Season
“You’ve got to remember how far we’ve come since last year,” added rookie shortstop Jonathan Villar. “Almost the entire batting order has made contact at least once this season.”
All Packages Now Get Delivered to Plex for Completely Rational Reasons
“We saw this as a no-brainer,” said Goldenberg. “There’s a big divide between North and South campus, and we thought that having everyone… get their packages at the same place would create some good old-fashioned campus unity.”