Climatologists Give Up; Move to Brazil
“Global Warming wins,” announces scientist in swim suit.
Category Archives: Headline
OPINION: Penis Game Could Be More Mature
Instead of yelling penis, yell “PHALLUS”. Ten extra points if anyone gives a shit.
Rushing Freshman Judged For Eating Carrot Stick During 7 Hour Sorority Interview
If she had eaten one more, she would have been thrown out in her underwear.
Polar Vortex Leads to No Visible Change in Student Habits
Norris Manager Unsure Where Ice Rink Starts
Area Students Unable to Jaywalk through Snowbanks, Late Everywhere
Bruce Springsteen Pledges to Never Hug Chris Christie Again
Spanish Student Flunks Oral Exam after Losing Voice in Primal Scream
BREAKING: Students Staying for Thanksgiving Are Totally Okay with It
“Yeah man, I don’t miss my family at all. Bunch of… people… I don’t like…”
Alaskan Student Finally Decides to Shut Dorm Room Window
On a side note, a new campus policy has been implemented banning polar bears as pets.