Northwestern to Upgrade from Three Quarters to Seven Quarters
Still not enough for a full load of laundry.
Category Archives: Headline
Tribute to Veterans Ignored by Students Going to Fucking Classes
Not to be confused with the since discontinued “Fucking Class.” Now that was a great class.
Mystery Floating Structure in SF Bay to Be Mailroom’s Next Location
Alcatraz to be retrofitted to house Elder’s cafeteria; nobody minds.
Brad Pitt Wins Accolades For Role of “Distracting Cameo” in “12 Years a Slave”
Northwestern’s Umbrella Organization, SHADE, Opens up for New Members
Moment of Silence Called for All GPAs Sacrificed During Midterms
Northwestern Football Disappoints, Still More Exciting than World Series
Happiness Club Releases Wild Pandas on Campus
NU PETA has launched a campaign in protest of the situation.
In Grief, Chief Keef Beefs with Police Chief for Belief in Relief from Sheafs of Legal Brief
Student Allergic to Pigskin, Next Football Game to be Played with Oversized Potato