“A clerical error was made, causing too many people to be assigned to the main parade convertible. Someone needed to be removed. Considering last week’s result against Michigan, Fitz was the obvious choice.”
“In the year 1959, the groundbreaking suspense-thriller and Hitchcock classic North by Northwest took the American cinema culture by storm, taking on issues like sexuality and pioneering the concept of a spy thriller long before they were accepted in the mainstream film industry,” shouted one angry protester.
LANSING, MI — Michigan recently passed controversial changes to the state’s Twerker’s Rights Laws and has the rap video ho community up in arms. Right to Twerk is an initiative that allows rap video hos to be selected off the street without having to pass through a standard audition process. According to rap video ho extraordinaire Ivana Humpalot, famous for having the credit card swiped through her ass in Nelly’s “Tip Drill” video, “Auditions involve sleeping with a member of
This report continues our series “Where Are They Now?” This week’s installment was written by Northwestern’s infamous Fucksaw. By The Fucksaw Hey, it’s nice to see you all again. I’ve been pretty busy. In and out, you know. As I always say, when life gives you lemons, penetrate them. I’ll be frank with you. I wasn’t that happy with how they treated me in the media, being new to Northwestern and all. It was like all these parents spending $200,000