Searle Doctor Declares Dead Body “Fine” after Strep Test Comes Back Negative
“Her body may be slowly eroding, but that’s a-okay, because she definitely doesn’t have Strep!” said Dr. Lou.
Tag Archives: Searle
PHA Bans Ritual Sacrifice of Ugliest Rushee This Year
“So, like, okay. The idea is that by burning a girl at the stake we’re making her sort of like a phoenix, where she dies all weak and gross but rises from the ashes in the image of sorority excellence.”
Searle Health Center Well-Prepared for Ebola Outbreak
“We assure you that every staff member has read the WebMD article about Ebola not once, but twice,” Hannigan stated.
SHAPE Brings Crabs to Northwestern Campus
SEARLE- In preparation for Northwestern Dance Marathon, scheduled to take place the weekend of March 9th, Sexual Health and Peer Educators (SHAPE) is putting together a campus wide crabwalk race to raise money for this year’s beneficiary, B+. “The race will start at Tech and all the crabs will scurry toward Searle Health Services,” President of SHAPE, Eliza Crochitch said. “We are really excited and we are hoping every pair participating in DM will send at least one crab to