Reel Big Fish to Return to Lake Michigan
Monthly Archives: May 2012
Creepy Senior Upset No More High School Girls at Dillo Day
EVANSTON – McCormick senior Joshua Manley said Thursday that he was “really bummed” that high school students would no longer be allowed to attend Dillo Day. “I totally liked checking out those hot 17-year-olds every year. I’d give them a beer or seven and boy was Dillo Day the best day ever.” Manley’s best friend Aaron Jacobson felt similarly. “Like, why should I even bother coming to Dillo Day anymore? I can get drunk anywhere, any time. I can see
EPD Officer Wishing He Was Assigned to Reel Big Fish’s Set
EVANSTON – Following assignment postings for EPD and campus security personnel in anticipation of 2012 Dillo Day events, Evanston police officer Eric Mills, 29, expressed regret that he would not be stationed at the Lakefill for the Reel Big Fish performance. “I mean, yeah, Cold War Kids are alright and all,” Mills reportedly told his supervisor, “but Cheer Up! was one of my favorite albums back when I was in college. And I can’t think of any better way to
Big Boi Fails to Show on Dillo Day, Inebriated NU Students Fail to Care
Laundry Pregamed
Epic Meal Time to Sell Whiskey Flavored Lube, Bloody Mary Morning After Pill
CRU Confuses Steve Aoki for Jesus, Holds Vigil at Mayfest Chalking
Students Shocked to Learn White Rapper is Complete Asshole
Purchaser of “The Scream” Also Buys Nation of Tuvalu
FUNAFUTI, TUVALU – Willy Telavi, Prime Minister of Tuvalu, was informed Friday that his nation had been sold at auction to the same man who purchased “The Scream.” Although the famous Munsch painting sold for a record $119.9 million May 2, Tuvalu went for a paltry $15 million, though this is admittedly more than twice as large as Tuvalu’s annual budget. The purchaser is determined to remain anonymous, unwilling to divulge to the public his true identity and just how
Heaving Drinking Pictures Discourage Organ Search on Facebook