Northwestern Unveils New Slogan: “Yum Yum Yum Money Money Money Yum Money Yum”

15 comments

In an attempt to distance themselves from accusations that their old slogan perpetuated and prioritized a culture of productivity over one of mental health, this morning university officials revealed their newest creative venture: “Yum Yum Yum Money Money Money Yum Money Yum.”

“We wanted to distance ourselves from this debate over work culture and proper mental care to focus on what we think the university really stands for. Money.” University spokesman Dan Gritzker also added, “We don’t care whether you’re working 20-hour days or watching Netflix all day as long as you end up making us money.”

The new slogan was allegedly developed by a team based in the Financial Aid Office. “I was there when they thought of it,” reported Amber Manjar, WCAS ’19. “I was trying to explain that severance pay and increased earned income were different things but they just kept saying, ‘No money! No money! You money is us money! No us money you money! Yum yum feed us! Yum money yum!’” said Manjar. “I still don’t know how I’m going to deal with this debt.”

The President’s Office is already planning a fundraising dinner centered around the new slogan. According to sources, university donors will be forced to approach a gargantuan, animatronic Morty head and throw their checks in its mouth while Morty’s recorded voice chants, “More money make Morty more merry! Feed us! Finance us! Yum yum money money yum money yum!”

At time of press, rumors spread that next year’s class gift will be mandatory for all students. While this year’s suggested gift was $20.18, university officials will remove the decimal place next year to better reflect the university’s values.

Business, Featured, No. 245 , , , , , , , , ,

15 comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *