“Man, I could’ve sworn ten-time Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter Taylor Swift was actually an Evanston-based Burger King making $8,000 a week.”
Tag Archives: Money
A candlelight vigil is scheduled for this Wednesday to commemorate the tragedy.
A tapestry depicting the crushing of a philosophy major’s dreams under the boot of market forces has already been put up in the faculty lounge on the third floor.
Are you aware of how hot the tech and engineering industry is these days? I’m going to be working with an ancient, gasoline-guzzling, rusty push mower that my parents have refused to replace since the early 2000s.
“We wanted to distance ourselves from this debate over work culture and proper mental care to focus on what we think the university really stands for. Money.”
“I’m so glad I came to Northwestern—these are the kinds of opportunities only a top-tier university could offer,” she said, examining her new Cartier diamond watch.
Accordingly, all sales generated by the pizzeria over the next few days will be reinvested into corporate improvements and managerial salaries.
These lucrative tips have made our illustrious paper the 10th wealthiest bi-weekly satirical publication on campus, and once you’ve read this article, you’ll have no excuse not to be rich.
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – NFL Hall of Famer Joe Namath will not be entering the hypothetical Well-Run-Business Hall of Fame. Namath was sad to announce Sunday that his restaurant, Joe’s Bar and Grill, will be shutting its doors permanently at the end of the month. Namath attributed this decision to the fact that he “was losing money faster than [he] can throw a football. Customers would walk in, flash a coupon, and walk out with a wad of cash.” Namath