Armadillo Day Ranked Second Best Vermin-Themed Music Festival After Roachella

In a recent list published by Teen Magazine, Northwesternâs Armadillo Day Festival (known more colloquially as âDillo Dayâ) has been ranked the nationâs second best vermin-themed music festival after Roachella.
The ranking, which will be displayed right below the â5th Best Diningâ award on Northwesternâs Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community. âI definitely thought our music festival would be ranked lower than Burning Mouse and Spiderpalooza,â said Dillo Day coordinator Dorothy Daniels. âBut once the magazine editor found out that our campus is infested with skunks and raccoons, they realized that we are very dedicated to creating a vermin-friendly environment here at Northwesternânot just during Dillo Day but year-round.â
Though many students are happy about Dillo Dayâs increased recognition, some remain annoyed about the event. âWhy canât we name the festival after an animal thatâs less gross?â complained Parry Yam, WCAS â20. âI bet if we renamed it to âSuper Cute Koala Festâ or âGolden Retriever Day,â weâd attract better musicians.â
In light of this opposition, some progress has already been made. Sources report that the Mayfest committee has secured Daniel Caesar, a human musician, to perform, after learning that armadillos cannot sing.
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