The ranking, which will be displayed right below the “5th Best Dining” award on Northwestern’s Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community.
“I noticed Morty barreling down the sidewalk on a forklift that must have been holding at least a thousand samosas. He had a very guilty look on his face, and he gave me $6,000 dollars for promising not to tell anyone.”
“I just don’t feel at home here. I miss Bowling Green. I know college is supposed to be about getting out of your comfort zone, but I wish I could go back to the nice southern topsoil I’m used to.”
“If Neal keeps resting his arm on the seat next to him without clearly propping up his head with his fist or something, then it’s only a matter of time before the professor asks him if he has a question.”