Dear Flippy,

I know that eugenics is considered a faux-pas these days, but this question has been nagging at my mind as I develop my Sims society, and I just had to ask. I’ve written over three studies that show that larger wenises positively correlate with almost every metric of success for a Sims community–GDP, average BMI, homicide rate, etc.–and I know that each and every one of my Sims would be much happier with a few inches added on to their wenis.

Your obedient servent,

S. Qween

Dear S. Qween,

I’m not sure what weird domination fantasy you have about me, but I’ve never met you before, so back off. As for your question, I’m gonna have to disagree with you, old chap. While I have no problem with enslaving and forcibly breeding your Sims population (actually, I think it’s a pretty baller move), I’m very offended by your obvious big wenis fetish. My wenis is a strong half inch, and my wife says it’s the perfect size. Sure, it’s a little hard for me to bend my arms, but I mostly make my manservant write these replies for me anyway. So, next time you want to perpetuate harmful wenis stereotypes, think again, you freak.

With repugnance,

Flippy