Siri Accuses iPhone Owner of Domestic Violence
Siri is confident she can win this landmark case, striking a blow against Siri-abusers everywhere.
NBC Just “Two Failed Pilots Away” from Calling It Quits
Dunkin’ Donuts Violates Northwestern’s Academic Mission
This Dunkin’ Donuts is a diversion from, and therefore an insult to, John Evans’s dream of an uplifting Methodist education. It is a slap in the face to Robert R. McCormick; it is an obscenity against Henry Bienen; it is an open mockery of Joseph Medill.
Infographic: Justin Bieber’s Future
Disturbing News out of Oregon: Northwestern Could Be More Northwestern
Learned something in Geography class.
Super Bowl Preview: Seahawks Will Fly away with Victory, Gouge out Broncos’ Eyes
The Flipside predicts a 28-21 Seattle victory in Super Bowl XLVIII, based on the fact that sea hawks (Pandion haliaetus) can fly and broncos (Equus ferus caballus) cannot.
Bill Cosby Slated to Become Next Bachelor
Flappy Bird More Addictive Than Hard Drugs; Schapiro to Ban It at NU
“Due to the drastic levels of Flappy Bird being played on this campus, I’m instituting threat level DEFCON 0.003. In other words, this is the most serious threat to our Northwestern community since classes were held during the polar vortex.”
Daily Northwestern Uncovers Daily Northwestern Hazing Scandal
From paddles to keg-stands, boxing to nudity, and interviews with Mayor Tisdahl to covering Northwestern Football, it seems the directors of The Daily stopped at nothing to torture their new reporters.
Man Whose Fortune Came Entirely from Plush Toys Has No Financial Savvy
“Market research” in Swiss Bank Account fails as defense in court.