Disturbing News out of Oregon: Northwestern Could Be More Northwestern
Learned something in Geography class.
Super Bowl Preview: Seahawks Will Fly away with Victory, Gouge out Broncos’ Eyes
The Flipside predicts a 28-21 Seattle victory in Super Bowl XLVIII, based on the fact that sea hawks (Pandion haliaetus) can fly and broncos (Equus ferus caballus) cannot.
Bill Cosby Slated to Become Next Bachelor
Flappy Bird More Addictive Than Hard Drugs; Schapiro to Ban It at NU
“Due to the drastic levels of Flappy Bird being played on this campus, I’m instituting threat level DEFCON 0.003. In other words, this is the most serious threat to our Northwestern community since classes were held during the polar vortex.”
Daily Northwestern Uncovers Daily Northwestern Hazing Scandal
From paddles to keg-stands, boxing to nudity, and interviews with Mayor Tisdahl to covering Northwestern Football, it seems the directors of The Daily stopped at nothing to torture their new reporters.
Man Whose Fortune Came Entirely from Plush Toys Has No Financial Savvy
“Market research” in Swiss Bank Account fails as defense in court.
Infographic: What’s in the Water in West Virginia?
Founding Fathers Would Have Discouraged Attributing Opinions to Dead People
If Thomas Jefferson and “Honest Ben” Franklin knew of the recent misattribution of opinions to the late Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. they would have been ashamed to call themselves ‘mericans.
Quentin Tarantino Throws Annual Temper Tantrum after Script Leak
State of the Union Bumped for Sitcom Rerun
Head speechwriter Milton Hart has hinted at a possible cliffhanger ending that will leave a “fan-favorite” Cabinet member dead.