NU Archives’ Best Dead People: Frances Willard
Willard is the namesake of Willard Residential College, the site of her famous duel with Mortimer Schapiroose. What began as a simple argument escalated into a life-or-death shootout.
NU Archives’ Best Dead People: Frances Searle
Campus historians attribute the North-South Campus divide to the original feud between Willard and Searle, but it wasn’t until the famous party switch during the great Fran’s vs. Lisa’s debate of 1897 that the current identities associated with North and South campus students emerged.
Fraternity Apologizes in Advance for Halloween Costume
On behalf of Tappa Tappa Keg, I would like to apologize in advance for the offensive costume a TTK member will inevitably wear this Halloween. It will be tasteless and crude, and the entire TTK fraternity asks for your forgiveness.
Moment of Silence Called for All GPAs Sacrificed During Midterms
After $1.5 Billion Donation, Medill Renamed Putin-Assad School of Journalism
The donation was announced last week, with much of it going to finance new projects to examine “collaborative, constructive, and mutually beneficial relationships between governments and journalistic enterprises.”
Oreo vs. Cocaine: Which Should You Choose?
Northwestern Football Disappoints, Still More Exciting than World Series
US Government Spying on Everyone and Their Mom
“It is merely a bug,” insisted NSA Director and US Army General Keith B. Alexander. “Everyone and their mother have never been, are not, and will never be under constant surveillance by the US Government. Probably.”
Pat Fitzgerald Declares “God is Dead” Following Iowa Loss
“There is no meaning or hope in this universe devoid of stability, sacredness, and our best two players,” said Fitzgerald. “There is only the inevitability of misplaced anticipation and false prospect colliding headfirst with the reality of despair and inevitable defeat.”
Kanye West to Recruit Interns through Chicago Field Studies
West outlined the positions he was looking to fill in a long series of tweets. “I need interns to drive my Benzes around, even when I am not in them… I need interns to act as food testers… I need interns to feed me grapes while I listen to my own albums…”