Summer Expectations vs. Reality: A Semi-Autobiographical List
I planned to read at least 5 books on the Modern Library Top 100 List, but I actually only read a Seventeen Magazine from October 2009.
Author Archives: Allison Ortega
Anthony Weiner Running for NYC Mayor, We’ll Leave the Dick Jokes to Sherman Ave.
SPOILER ALERT: You Should Have Read The Great Gatsby by Now
If you’re one of many people out there who are still clinging to their last hopes of being surprised by the new film adaptation of The Great Gatsby because you were too lazy to Sparknote it in high school, turn back now. Let’s just get one thing straight, “spoiler alerts” should be rendered void after a book has been published for, oh, I don’t know, ALMOST A CENTURY. Be honest with yourself for a minute and realize that if you
A&O Sponsored Geographer Concert Disappoints Geography Majors
EVANSTON — Last Sunday A&O hosted a Dance Marathon benefit concert featuring the San Francisco band Geographer. The concert was held out on the Norris East Lawn and was well attended, though the crowd was a departure from the indie band’s usual fan base. Geographer’s manager described the band’s average fan as “a young blond girl with a California tan, usually wearing some combination of swimwear and clothes that I can only assume she stole out of her grandmother’s closet.”
Alumni Donors To Host “You’re Welcome-A-Thon”
Lisa Assassinates Fran as Tensions Mount between North and South Campus
Free Pizza Bulldozes Competition, Officially Elected as 1st Ward Alderman
The Five Students You’ll Meet During Wildcat Welcome
The Early Admit probably bleeds purple, but not in the metaphorical school spirit kind of way; she actually may have ingested something to alter the pigment of her innards (her skin looks weird).
Flipside Investigation Discovers that “Brogurt” Contains Horse Meat
MIAMI BEACH, FL — It’s no secret that Greek yogurt is popular among women; just ask any yoga-pant-clad sorority girl on campus and she’ll, like, totally confirm. Yogurt is chock full of vitamins and calcium that help maintain a healthy diet, but marketers sensed a gaping demographic disparity in the yogurt market and recently announced the launch of a new product catering to men. Powerful Yogurt, nicknamed Brogurt, hit grocery store shelves last week in an attempt to target guys
NU to Promote Diversity on CAESAR, Change System’s Name to “SACAGAWEA”
EVANSTON — After considering the exorbitant amount of time each Northwestern student spends on CAESAR attempting to register for classes every quarter, administrators at Northwestern thought the online portal would be the perfect place to continue their push for campus diversity. Northwestern officials have not yet provided any specific plans about how they will make CAESAR more diverse, so The Flipside has constructed a list of suggestions on how to proceed. 1. Rename CAESAR “SACAGAWEA” – Trust us, there are