“Sometimes while doing the wash, I’ll look in the machine and see the purples swirl; and I swear the shirts are taunting me, mocking my puny existence.”Read More
“I saw it was from my grandpa, and I knew I had made a mistake when I mentioned my gender studies class to my family over the holidays.”
In addition, sources in Schapiro’s office claim that the university president asked Fitzgerald to stop giving him wet willies, Indian burns, titty twisters, and swirlies.
“We trust that you guys are responsible enough to spank yourselves with a paddle, so we’re not gonna check for bruises,” said fraternity president Jason Clover
“Given Duke’s ability to generate money from ears, combine two rings into one, and materialize rabbits from his hat, he is overqualified for the position.”
Hopefully we’ll come out of this quarter stronger, huh? And more well rested.
“I really enjoyed my quarter abroad in London. I grew as a person and learned a lot too,” Schuster said, not knowing that on October 20, 2017, he could have made hot love to Stanton in a fleeting moment of mutual passion that can never occur again.
“People should be very afraid. I haven’t seen a single bee in Tech at all the past few months. No bees in Tech means no honey in Tech. No honey in Tech is a catastrophe!”
“Everyone here says that the complaints I’ve heard back home are nothing compared to how much people complain during a real Chicago winter.”
Mertütis and Blomquist originally drew high praise from other white allies for being so progressive as to have a woman portray Martin Luther King.