Issue 25

No Image

Heroic Student Assassinates CAESAR

EVANSTON—Fed up with CAESAR’s tyrannical bullshit, Computer Science graduate student Andy “Brutus” Swanson vanquished the online academic portal in a carnal, adrenaline-driven massacre on Friday night. “Seriously, what the hell?” Swanson screamed at his web…

Read More


No Image

Econ Major Drops out of Ethics Course

EVANSTON—When sophomore economics major Mark Richman signed up for PHIL 181: “Introduction to Ethical Decision Making”, the news surprised most other economics majors, who comprise approximately half of the undergraduate population. This shocking attempt at…