Op-Ed: If Knowledge is Power, How Come I Can Beat the Shit Out of You Nerds?
And you claim to be better than me because of your brains? Say that again after I kick you into the Lakefill, King Dweeb.
And you claim to be better than me because of your brains? Say that again after I kick you into the Lakefill, King Dweeb.
The instigator of Enright’s ire was a platter of carrot muffins in the dining hall’s vegan section.
While giddily walking away from the prize counter, Northwestern president Morton Schapiro told reporters today that he had exchanged 200 Dave & Busters tickets for a Wildcats nightlight. “I’m a really big Northwestern sports fan, so I’m super excited to have my very own Wildcats nightlight. Oh boy!” Morty exclaimed. Morty reportedly earned the 200 tickets over several hours playing Skee-Ball, whack-a-mole, and pop-a-shot basketball. He was chaperoned around the venue by members of the Board of Trustees. “You should
Then it hit me. This map was no perimeter for moral degradation and clinical diseases: it was a guide to discovering the hidden truths of Dillo—and human flesh.
As a result of the violation of disciplinary probation, and for no other reason whatsoever, the members of SAE currently living in the on-campus house must move out by May 6.
“I can’t go into specific details about my business operations due to the competitiveness of the market. However, I will say that the demand by clueless freshman for small green-colored herbs was significantly higher yesterday than any other day of the year.”
Sources close to Morty revealed how glad he is to have places like this on campus where he can just go chill out, smoke, and not have to worry about being attacked for who he is.
“I have three midterms coming up, and I told my friend I’d get dinner with him soon. I just can’t do 4/20 until early next week at best,” Palmer said as he crammed for a reading quiz.
“You know, it’s guys like him that remind you that chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just creepy and horny.”
As of yet there is no plausible explanation for why the high school student has gone missing.