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Category Archives: Local
The Flipside Nominates the 2013 Homecoming Court
As the only satirical newspaper on campus, The Northwestern Flipside feels proud (and obligated) to nominate its first annual Homecoming Court and recognize the most notable members of the Northwestern and surrounding Evanston community.
Weinberg Freshman Drops Out of NU, Hired at Strip Club
“At first I was, like, really excited about college and all,” DeLuca told her advisor. “But then, like, I was in Intro to International Relations and it seemed like I was like, going to have to read a lot. That’s, like, bullshit.”
President Schapiro Makes First Visit to Entirely-Empty Garret-Evangelical Theological Seminary
“I felt as if the longer I stood within this lonely and hollow place, the more lonely and hollow I myself would become,” sobbed President Schapiro.
The Flipside Investigates: Norris Bookstore Has Books
Norris Bookstore promised that it has, and always has had, more than enough textbooks, access codes, and student manuals, for all students in every single class at Northwestern, ever.
Prominent Jewish Studies Professor Denies Existence of Arthur Butz
“Why would a prestigious university in a heavily Jewish area ever have a professor who openly denies the Holocaust? Open your eyes and question the narratives set before you, people,” Silverman posted on his Facebook page.
All Packages Now Get Delivered to Plex for Completely Rational Reasons
“We saw this as a no-brainer,” said Goldenberg. “There’s a big divide between North and South campus, and we thought that having everyone… get their packages at the same place would create some good old-fashioned campus unity.”
Northwestern University in Qatar to Close Evanston, Chicago Campuses
“We’re going to have to build a good team if we want to stand a chance against our rival, Texas A&M University at Qatar,” said Football Coach Pat Fitzgerald.
First Day of Classes Results in Dearth of Flipside Content
“It’s sad we don’t have anything to put on our website today,” agreed President Andrew Schneider. “Our Facebook page is going to have embarrassingly little content on it this week.”
Sophomore Doesn’t Leave Allison For Eleven Days Running
“Forget going to the frat quad,” says Langlois. “Allison now has everything you could possibly need, like wallpaper that looks like electrophoresis, a printer with no paper, and doors that don’t prop open.”