Tag Archives: Mom

[SEVENTH GRADE ISSUE] I Can Do Anything I Want (But Mom’s Picking Me Up at 5)

Hey, Chris, wassup? Excited to hang out later? Oh, Jesus, dude, don’t call it a fucking playdate- ’cause we’re not sixth graders anymore, that’s why! Huh, what’s that? Your parents won’t let you go to the mall by yourself? Jesus Christ, dude, we’re thirteen! They can’t tell us what to do! And we sure as hell don’t need them! Now grow some fucking balls, call your mom, and demand that she drive us to the mall! You need to be

Palin Suffering from Post-Election Tourette’s Syndrome

JUNEAU, AK—Alaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Tourette’s Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla on Wednesday, January 28th and has been observation ever since. ā€œI saw her walking down the street, and went over to give her a hello, and all she could say was ā€˜Maverick maverick 9/11 terrorist Joe sixpack.’ I was so confused,ā€ said Wasilla resident and

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