Your mom’s house is proving to be an incredibly popular destination with many Northwestern students.
Tag Archives: Mom
“Over the last thirty years, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore.”
“It’s so embarrassing how I mistakenly thought the woman who birthed me, nursed me, and raised me was my professional educator.”
“When she finally woke me up and I saw her in lingerie, I nearly stabbed my eyes out.”
“The whole thing really started when she called me a moron. I thought fine, if that’s so funny I’ll just take your boron”, said Mrs. Brantley with a chuckle, who has a dual degree in chemistry and poetry.
ETHS Soccer Moms Disappointed To Learn The Facebook Group They Joined Is Actually A Northwestern “Me-me” Page
“The woman I thought was Danica, the bitch who brought GMO orange slices to practice last week, revealed herself to actually be some guy from Northwestern.”
“I’m so glad I came to Northwestern—these are the kinds of opportunities only a top-tier university could offer,” she said, examining her new Cartier diamond watch.
Apart from increased opportunities for face-to-face maternal judgment, sudden discoveries of school-year secrets also contribute to July’s status as the golden days of parental condescension.
After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called “brave and very unique.”
“It is merely a bug,” insisted NSA Director and US Army General Keith B. Alexander. “Everyone and their mother have never been, are not, and will never be under constant surveillance by the US Government. Probably.”