“After this 4/20, Burger King will become Burger Emperor.”
Author Archives: Rebecca Siems
ETHS Soccer Moms Disappointed To Learn The Facebook Group They Joined Is Actually A Northwestern “Me-me” Page
“The woman I thought was Danica, the bitch who brought GMO orange slices to practice last week, revealed herself to actually be some guy from Northwestern.”
Twenty-something social media influencer and cryptic concept filmmaker Brynlee Hodges was truly inspired by Warren’s yeet.
A case study on McCormick sophomore, Bobby Majewski, revealed shocking results: Canada Goose coats may warm the body, but they are no match for the cold within his soul.
“I just wanted one week. ONE GODDAMN WEEK OF MAGIC IN THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.”